What a Difference a Year Makes

By | 2019-02-13T16:38:53-05:00 December 6th, 2017|3 Comments
Image Meaning: The picture represents the wonderful memories I shared with my lady and the sadness I feel inside without her in my life.

It all started with a smile on eHarmony, a few introductory messages back and forth, and the plans to meet in person at a small restaurant in a town half way between us. On the day of the meeting, the sky was overcast, which concerned me as we had planned to go for a walk after we ate. We arrived at the restaurant about the same time and once I saw her getting out of her vehicle I went to greet her. She was wearing white jeans with a floral blouse and her blond hair went slightly past her shoulders. She was stunning. I had seen her picture, of course, but her picture could not capture her amazing smile or her sparkling blue eyes. We went in to the restaurant and chatted while we ate. When the meal was over we drove to the local park to walk but there was really no place to do so. She suggested we sit on a bench that was near a small pond and talk. She had even brought a small bag with cups, hot water, and various packets of tea and coffee. We sat on that bench, drank, laughed, and got to know each other for a couple of hours. The sky remained overcast but only a few sprinkles broke the water of the pond. The conversation was easy and her presence was peace itself. I had been on other dates but I knew right away that this woman was special. It was getting time for us to depart and we walked back to our vehicles. I reached in mine and pulled out a white rose that I had brought in case the date went well. A hundred roses would not have been enough to express my feelings toward her at that moment. She took the rose, gave me a hug and departed. I got in my vehicle and as I watched her drive away, the rain began to fall.

Apparently, I had made a good impression and we decided to meet again at an arboretum near her home. She brought subs for us and we ate them on one of the park benches. She seemed to have gotten even prettier. After we ate, we walked the paths and eventually came to a sixty-five-foot tower. We climbed the stairs and admired the view of the surrounding area. We ended up spending over three hours in that tower asking each other questions and learning about one another. I had wanted to kiss her as she left the first date but felt that was too soon. Now, standing in that tower, the moment felt right and we kissed. The kiss was…. awkward. We moved in wrong, tilted wrong, it was just awkward. We both knew it and burst out laughing. We tried again and this time it was magic. We walked slowly back to our vehicles, neither wanting to leave but children and duties made that choice for us.

For our third date, we met in a park alongside a dam and river. It was there she learned that I had never skipped rocks. We laughed as she showed me how to do it. Most of my rocks just sank but, with her guidance, I did manage to skip a couple. We kissed again standing against the rocks along the river. This kiss was certainly not awkward like the first but was simply amazing. We sat in a swing that overlooked the river. As we talked I put my arm around her and she leaned in to me. Being with her was so comfortable. It was as if I had known her all my life. After a couple hours we departed, already wanting to meet again.

The next date brought me to her home where we danced barefoot in her kitchen. From the beginning there had been an undeniable chemistry between us. We moved from the kitchen to the living room and began exploring each other. The closeness we felt, even at this early stage, was incredible. We got intimate and made love as a thunderstorm added the perfect touch.

Those dates began what was the most amazing journey of my life. Even though we lived an hour apart, both had jobs, responsibilities, and in her case, children at home, we still managed to spend time together often. Over the next several months we had numerous overnighters, went to orchestral concerts, a musical, a baseball game, a romantic bed and breakfast, and many destinations in between. She took me to her stylist who gave me a cut that I still wear. I spent time with her two amazing children and she with two of mine. We went hiking, and walking, and biking, and kayaking. We sat on park benches, in gazebos, and next to rivers, talking for hours at a time. We ate at numerous restaurants, cooked together, and experienced new culinary tastes. No matter what we did together, it was fun, it was easy, and it was magical.

On our first Christmas together she surprised me with a scrapbook highlighting all the things we had done together so far. It was so touching and so special just like this lady who had stolen my heart. There was absolutely nothing I would change about this woman, nothing. I thanked God every day for bringing her into my life. We told each other we loved one another regularly and, even without words, we could see it in each other’s eyes, feel it in each other’s touch. We texted each other meaningful songs and gave each other cards and gifts that expressed how we felt. We started talking about the future for I knew in my heart that this was the woman I wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

We had been together almost a year. For our one-year anniversary I had ordered a red rose that had been preserved and dipped in gold. We were taking a weekend trip to a bed and breakfast in Kentucky and I planned on giving it to her when we returned. Unfortunately, I never got that chance.

The trip started out wonderfully. We explored the area, walked, and laid in a hammock overlooking a lake while gazing in to each other’s eyes. I felt truly connected. On the night before we left, I could tell something was wrong when I looked in to her eyes. I asked her what it was and she quietly said it was time for us to go our separate ways. I was devastated and totally shocked. If someone had told me the Atlantic Ocean had turned to chocolate pudding, I would have believed it first. She went on to tell me that she loved me but there were fundamental differences that she felt would eat at her over the long term. I will have to admit I bawled like a baby. I was certainly not a strong man at that time. We slept in the same bed that night and made love the next morning. There is nothing more surreal than two people having tears in their eyes as they make love. The drive home was normal. She rubbed my neck. I rubbed her leg. We talked. We held hands. After I got her home and we hugged and said our last goodbyes, she watched me drive away through the window.

This is by far the worst I have ever felt. You see, my friends and I had often discussed that I did not know what it was like to be ‘in-love’. They felt that was impossible since I was over 50 years old. Oh sure I had loved before, and deeply, but when people talked about being ‘in-love’ I was clueless. That is until I met this woman. She was kind, caring, beautiful, sexy, loving, intelligent, and so much more. There was not a single thing about her I did not love.

Many times I have heard people asked if they are happy. The response is usually a qualified, ‘yes, but if I only had….more money, a bigger house, a nicer car, etc. I would be really happy.’ I can honestly say, when I woke up next to this woman…when I held her in my arms…when I had her in my life, I was truly happy.

With her I felt invincible. Without her I feel insignificant. When she left it is like my spark for life was removed from my body and left with her. Now, every Wednesday, in the hopes that she will want to stop and say hello, I go to a bookstore close to her, where we had spent time together, and wait. In fact, it is in that very bookstore that these words are being sent out in to cyberspace. I love you my lady and I always will.

  • : The picture represents the wonderful memories I shared with my lady and the sadness I feel inside without her in my life.
  • : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXm_quTR_OU
  • : open

3 Comments

  1. Better person get help December 18, 2017 at 4:41 pm - Reply

    The picture with hand around ladies head, disturbing. Possible stalking.
    Many go thru breakups. To put details of one’s relationship out on public display clearly shows a lack of respect for the other person and the relationship itself. She made the right call.

    I would be afraid if I were her and found this
    I wont put my name because you seem alittle creepy.

  2. Corey December 18, 2017 at 6:38 pm - Reply

    Hey Garonimo,

    I’m not sure where the previous comment came from, as I think this site is intended to be a safe space to share and pour your feelings anonymously. Anonymous comments (the name is awfully mean) don’t really do anyone any good. Don’t let it change the way you feel.

    Either way, I’m so glad to hear your story. I’ve been through several painful breakups myself, and talking about it allows us to provide ourselves with closure and security. Thanks for being so open.

    Keep fighting the good fight. Maybe there’s someone even better waiting “in the wings” for you.

    Best of luck.

    P.S. Pic isn’t creepy. Just you sharing honestly.

  3. Kelley February 4, 2018 at 3:52 pm - Reply

    Oh my!!! I am crying my eyes out. I feel your pain reading your post. I feel so sorry for your broken heart. It is so sad you are going through this. This was such a fairy tale till the end….And you still go to the bookstore and wait for her. Oh my God!

    As a woman, I can tell you I would do anything to have the kind of love you have for her. I hope it works out for you. Never give up on love,

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