My story has two parts. You must understand the first part to feel the full pain of the second part. We start the story on a warm summer day. I was 11. My family and I were visiting long time friends. I went upstairs to play. I ended up in the bedroom of a 17 and a 15 year old. (I will refer to them as their age through the story.) The two boys were playing video games. I laid down on the floor and watched them quietly. I felt cool just hanging out with them. They offered me a turn. Of course I wanted to play! I took the controller from the 15 year old. A few minutes later he came over to me and Strattled my back. He said he was going to give me a back massage. I kept playing. He starts at my shoulders and works his way down my back. Then my butt and down my legs. On his way back up he starts on the inside of my legs. When he gets close to my privates I freeze. He tells me to keep playing. I listen. He spreads my legs and helps himself to under my shorts. After a few minutes he must have been disappointed with the results. He decided to switch with the 17 year old. I am still frozen in my stop. I didn’t know what to think or do. The 17 year old comes over and puts most of his body weight on me. He whispers in my ear that this is a secret. That’s when I knew something is wrong. That this was wrong. He helps himself to under my shorts as well. After what seems like forever my parents call for me. I quickly get up and walk out of the room. I didn’t realize it that day, but they had stolen my innocence. Let’s fast forward to when I’m 15. I’ve had a boyfriend for some time. Hormones are raging. We talk about sex a lot. I know this is true love. I know sex is going to be so magical and amazing. On another warm summer day he takes me for a walk. We are out in the country. No one is around. Fields all around us. After some time on this rocky path he stops me. He wants to have sex. Here. I end up saying yes. He lays me down in the dirt and rocks. The sun is beating down. A few minutes and everything is done and we are walking back. Right here is where my heart broke for the first time. It broke hard into a thousand pieces. Everything flashed back to when I was 11. It took me a few years after that day to completely realize what had happened that day. I knew those boys didn’t love me. I knew that stuff was meant for love. Here I was so deeply in love and my heart was still breaking. Sex wasn’t magical. Sex wasn’t amazing. Wait… Wait one minute. What if he doesn’t love me. That boy didn’t love me. None of those boys loved me. My innocence taken not once but twice. My heart left broken.
- : The meaning of the photo will become clear with the story. Flowers are delicate just like my innocence.
- : open